Hey My Lovelies,
I began this blog to speak to my 20-something sisters; those of us who feel stuck or anxious or even panicked about the decisions we are making, the careers we are choosing and what we believe is going to make us successful in life. (Btw, what the hell is “success” and how do we know when we have it??? That’s a juicy one I will dive into in another post…cliff hanger!!!)
Lately, I keep running into a phrase that is striking fear into the hearts of 20-somethings all over this freaking city-The. Quarter-Life. Crisis. Duh duh DUUUUUUH!
It seems that this is the point in your life where you look around at where you’ve ended up and decide that you are nowhere near where you thought you would be, that your life is a complete mess, you have no direction and that time is running out! Where is the man, the house, the career and the babies!?!? And if you have some of those things, or even all of those things why don’t they feel right!?
This is where I jump in with a big idea to calm your nerves, my loves.
This generation is something extraordinary. Older generations were expected to have it all figured out and settled by this time. There weren’t that many choices. The 20′s were typically for finding a husband and putting into practice the domestic exercises you were groomed for as a young adult.
But, this is a new generation, ladies.
We have soooo much more available to us now and that is amazing! The challenge is that we are living in a paradox. We want to have it all figured out because we want security and we want to feel established, but we want to have it all and live the life of our dreams. We have endless possibilities and tremendous freedom to CREATE the life that we choose, so naturally that is going to take a bit longer.
Today, our teens are for learning and exposure. We cram all the information we can into our little brains so that when the time comes, we can make (hopefully) informed decisions. Our 20′s are for implementing those lessons and EXPERIMENTING. Now is the time for us to try on those careers that, in theory sounded interesting to us in our teens, to try out this guy and that guy and see what we really want in a partner.
You know how it is. You find an incredible dress on the rack of your favorite store. You’re so excited! You try it on, look in the mirror and it looks nothing like it did on the hanger. Do you throw it on the pile and burst into tears because that was the perfect dress and it didn’t fit!? …Maybe, if you are on your period….but, no! Ridiculous! You keep your eye out and eventually find one that is even better than the one you thought you wanted.
I grew up thinking that I had to figure everything out as quickly as possible and steer my life with an iron grip. Like, once I made those major life decisions I had to stick with them till death-do-us-part or I was doomed. What a fucked-up, enormously pressurized way to live! Not to mention that doesn’t sound very fun. (Obvious not-so-much-of-a spoiler alert: It wasn’t.)
I’m going to say it one more time to summarize and hopefully drive this point home. Our teens are for learning. Our twenties are for experimenting. You know what happens when you loosen your iron grip and start experimenting? Opportunities open up for you. A little crack emerges and a little light is allowed to shine through. The universe is dying to get in and direct you to your ultimate life. We think we need to work so hard to steer our lives, but life flows whether we struggle or not. In fact, struggling will make the journey that much more difficult.
We need to give ourselves permission to live some experiences. If living our dreams is so valuable to us then let’s give our experiences the time they deserve to figure out if they are worth committing our lives to. And I promise you, you have plenty of time once you figure out what you truly want, to make those dreams a reality. My 30-something ladies will attest to this
I usually begin my posts with a few quotes. I only have one today and I’m going to leave it with you here, at the end:
“Don’t you worry child, see heaven has a plan for you.” ~Swedish House Mafia
Keep it real my 20-something sistahs,