Will you count calories?
Will you poke yourself in the stomach when you’ve had too much to eat?
Will you spend an entire afternoon trying to find an outfit that doesn’t make you feel fat?
I’m going to lay down the facts here, my love. You have one life. The timer began when you were born and it’s going, baby until you die. What you chose to do in that limited time is up to you, but I think you would want to do something useful with it.
Fat-talk is a distraction. It’s a way to ignore the real work that needs to be done. You complain about your muffin top, the fast-food you ate last night, anything to avoid the real issue at hand. You feel unlovable.
As long as you keep complaining about your physical body, maybe no one will notice how unlovable you are.
But they notice, darling.
They notice that you are scared shitless.
Only when you pry your fingers from your eyes and are willing to really look at yourself will you be able to see the truth. It’s terrifying and extremely uncomfortable to look at yourself with no judgement, but that’s what you have to do. You may realize that you’ve never looked at yourself without something harsh to say. I urge you, desperately to try it. The quality of your life depends on it.
Are you willing to see things differently? If you said yes, I first have to arm you with some facts that you may not want to hear.
~You are made of Love. Babies die if they are not loved because they are made of Love and need a constant source of it to grow. Your life force, your very essence is Love. So how can you be unlovable if it is the very thing you are made of?
~Every person put on this earth has a purpose. There are no obsolete people. Your responsibility is to find out what that purpose is. It is not your responsibility, however to force anything. If you force, you block. Leave yourself open. Trust that it is coming. Be patient and pay attention.
I have a practice that I stumbled upon one day that I use as a gentile yet firm reminder that I am loved and I am being guided. I had just finished watching a movie on my laptop. I was sitting on the floor of my tiny apartment bedroom and I noticed that the sun was flooding my room with light. On a whim I sat up, closed my eyes and began to meditate. I don’t know how long I sat there and I didn’t do any special breathing or mantras. I just felt like my mind was cluttered and I wanted to sit still for a minute. When I felt I had meditated long enough, I was just about to open my eyes when I had a peculiar impulse to place my right hand over my heart. I thought it was strange, but I was willing to go with it. As I lifted my hand I felt a magnet-like force drawing my palm to my chest. As soon as it made contact I was surprised at how strong and rooted my hand felt over my heart. I heard a voice from the deepest part of myself say, “I’ve got you. No matter what happens I will always be here for you. You will always be all right.” As soon as I heard those words I felt Love flood my body. It was the most overwhelming feeling I had ever experienced. It subsided after a few minutes and when I opened my eyes I took stock of what happened. I felt grounded and strong and more sure of myself then I had ever felt before. And this at a time when I had no idea what I was going to do with my future.
Now any time I feel unsure, or unsteady I place my hand on my heart and I feel a flicker of reassurance. I know that I am being guided and I know that I am worth so much more than I think I am.
I’m sharing this with you because it’s so powerful to know that the deepest part of yourself has your back. It’s like having a safety net below you at all times. It frees you to do the things you are afraid to do and, by the way, the things that scare you the most are the things that will lead you to your purpose.
Try this meditation when you are feeling distracted by a sense of uncertainty or self-doubt. Sit quietly for 10-20 minutes, as long as it takes you to still your mind and feel grounded. When you feel yourself coming back to consciousness, place your right hand over your heart and feel the weight and stability of your palm on your chest. Pay attention to any sensations that come up for you. When you feel ready, open your eyes and reflect on what just happened.
Don’t do yourself a disservice. Fat talk helps no one and improves nothing. Your time would be much better spent focusing on your unique talents and what you can offer the world.
Delve into your work and focus on what fires you up. Focusing your attention outward does the most extraordinary thing. It makes you forget about yourself and at the same time gives you the best sense of worth. So, forget the fat talk. It’s just noise distracting you from your purpose. Ignore it and get living. Your one wild and precious life is waiting.