Comparison is an act of violence against the self ~Iyanla Vanzant
Comparison is a nasty little bitch. Once she sees the fear in your eyes, she knows she’s got you and she curls her lips up in a ruthless smile. Comparison fights dirty. She sneaks up behind you and clutches your hands behind your back so it’s impossible to do your work, injecting needles full of self-doubt straight into your veins, quicker than heroine and just as deadly. She snarkily whispers heady sentiments of how easy it would be to just give up. You’re wasting your time. So many others are doing it better than you. You don’t have what it takes, over and over again until all you can hear is the dull roar of her incessant voice.
She doesn’t stop there. Comparison feeds on inspiration, your inspiration. She sucks dry your creativity and is still famished after all she has taken. You know comparison has got you when a deep impenetrable cold freezes you to your spot. If you make any move at all, it may be the wrong one and you will crack into a million tiny shards too small to fit back together.
Just when you think she’s had her way with you and there can’t possibly be any more, with her icy long fingers she plants something small in your heart- a seed of fear, and if tended to and cared for, as it grows it will feed on the nourishment of your heart and leave a hollow shell where hope and spirit once dwelled.
There is only one way to kill comparison-cut off her source of sustenance. Put your head down and push away everything that feeds her. She’s not going to be happy. She will rage against you and reveal her wretched truth. She can’t survive without you. If you ignore her, she ceases to exist. If you commit to your purpose no matter what, she loses her hold on you. Her fingers become too weak to bind your hands.
Stay on your path and don’t look left or right. Comparison is lurking behind every tree and she wants you to notice her. The beginning of your path can’t be compared to the middle of another’s. This simple truth will keep her at bay.
And if you really want to get rid of her for good, take a look at the early work of someone you admire. Whether it be art or business, sports or an empire, everyone begins at the beginning. Go back to your hero’s first unsteady steps and take comfort in realizing that we all start off on our journey uncertain of the way.
You can see only your hero’s back because he is ahead of you on the path, but you can bet he met comparison just where you are meeting her now. If you keep on you will catch up and you will leave her behind. Up close she is a seductress, a tempting destroyer of potential, but every move you make towards your purpose puts miles between she and you. The further away from her you get, the clearer you will see that she is just fear in a clever disguise. Fear will take many forms if you chose this journey. Comparison is only one of them. If you meet her, smile because you are on the right path. You only have to walk right by her and keep on going.
…A bit heady, but I hope you understand. Comparison gets all of us at one point or another. Two surefire ways to rid yourself of comparison are to stop looking at whatever is making you feel inadequate, and to look instead at the early work of someone you admire. This keeps me going every time I feel comparison creeping up on me. Give it a try and let me know in the comments below if you have any tools you use to keep the bitch in her place 😉
- I just discovered a super cool website that archives websites and their changes over the years, so you can literally go back and see how your favorite bloggers, business owners or companies started out! A lot of those early sites are pretty jenky!
- And one of my personal favorites is going to your favorite role model’s youtube channel and changing the search to “oldest to newest” and checking out their first videos. More often then not, they are nowhere near as polished and professional as they are now.
I’ll be back next week with a light and fluffy post (It’s my birthday and I have a recipe for you!)
With so much love,