This course is a study in humility. A challenging, often gruesome assignment that is required. We can choose when we want to take it, but the class is mandatory for everyone.
The syllabus is entitled: Healing Relationships 101
Ever wonder what the purpose of relationships are? I do. Sure, love is nice and companionship keeps us from being lonely. Heck, it’s even proven to keep depression away, but companionship can come from friends and we can procreate (technically speaking) without committing to a relationship. So why, on a very fundamental level does being in a relationship feel so important to us?
Here is my thesis statement: The Universe is self-organizing and self-correcting. It is constantly working towards a state of healing and growth. The Universe is also sneaky and clever. We make up part of the Universe, thus, the Universe needs us to work on our own healing. It gets us to do that by hiding our assignments in relationships.
The purpose of relationships is to teach us big lessons about ourselves. Ever realize you date the same type of person over and over again? Like your relationship now is a repeat of your last? It’s because you are not paying attention to the lesson and the Universe is beating you over the head with it. Until you get it, the Universe is just going to keep sending you the same assignment.
Relationships are hard because they magnify our pain points. It’s as if our partner is holding a mirror up to our face all the time. If that doesn’t sound fun, I can assure you it’s not. But it’s necessary if we really want to grow.
I got a hefty dose of humility a few days ago when the chef and I went to visit my family. On the train ride home later that night we got to talking about how my sisters often push my mom’s buttons and berate her for the way she does things. The chef pointed out that I’m not exempt from this behavior. My initial reaction was to defend myself and state that while I may be impatient with my mother sometimes I’m not as bad as my sisters. I stopped myself because I could see that he was right. My relationship with my mother is good, but not great. It’s something I’ve wanted to avoid, but he really made me get real with myself and see that this is an important assignment of mine.
If you come into a relationship thinking that the other person is going to fix you, you’ve got it wrong. The other person is going to show you what needs to be fixed. It’s up to you whether you want to do the work.
Some say that relationships are holy assignments. I agree. A holy relationship carries with it a massive opportunity for healing. Being aware of this opportunity is so powerful. When you recognize your partner as a conduit of your lessons from the Universe it literally feels like a holy download.
What’s great about that is there can be no blame or feelings of personal attack when your partner tells you something that’s hard for you to hear. It may smart for a nanosecond, but then your perception shifts, you realize the assignment and you can get to work on it.
Remember that the Universe always has your back and wants to see you reach your highest self. That means using relationships to deliver the lessons you need along the way.
Send an imaginary wink to the Universe for sending you a hot messenger 😉